People, Sex, Bodies, Beauty //:POKERFACE

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So initially, this post was meant to be about my theory (hint: bodies) about why I am upset, and that I just can't help. 

But over the past 10 minutes, many things have changed. I got inspiration from my theory post to make a post that I feel is somewhat more liberating - at least for me. Given that I've spoken a lot to my friends about how I feel suppressed in many ways, at least bringing in an element of 'raw' sexuality into my blog might help me ease into being myself again - or who I am but just simply cannot accept. 

GENDER NEUTRAL SEX. THE ACTIVITY IS MISLEADING - IT ISN'T ABOUT SEX - IT'S ABOUT CONNECTION - EROTIC, ROMANTIC, PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL. NO ROOM FOR GENDER CONSTRUCTS STEMMING FROM BIOLOGICAL SEX - FREEDOM AND LIBERATION. 

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 CAPTIVATED, TRAPPED, CONSTRAINED, LIMITED. 

FEAR. 

FUCK THE SUBTITLES. FUCK THE GENITALS. FUCK WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU. FUCK WHAT YOU'RE BORN WITH. AND JUST GO FOR IT, AND FUCK.

fuck whatever its YOU DESIRE, or whatever that is, YOU WANT and whatever FEELS RIGHT.

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Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch. Fernando.


Don't call my name.


Don't call my name, Alejandro.


I'm not your babe.


I'm not your babe, Fernando.

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 Sex for Power. We aren't necessarily talking presidents or wealthy old men (why can't be wealthy old women - but that's another subject for discussion). Power - internal power, external power, and power through validation, power through acceptance, power through conformity, power through homogeneity, or more like, power attempted to obtain through acting. 

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I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be


A little gambling is fun when you're with me. I love it

Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun


And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun

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                          ROLE PLAY. PLAY ROLE. WHICH ONE?

                                                                                         AM I?

                                                             OR ARE YOU?

                                         ON TOP?

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Can't read my,
Can't read my

No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)


Can't read my,
Can't read my

No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)

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Constrained, for how much longer?

That's only something that I will decide. 

Let us hope, pray and have courage.

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