Stuttgart Stunner

Julia Goerges: Beauty Uber Alles


Drop-dead Goerges: Her game is like her name

STUTTGART, Germany (April 24, 2010) – Julia Goerges is my new favorite female tennis player. The 22-year-old German native of Bad Oldesloe is also probably the most *Goergeous* woman currently bouncing around the WTA circuit - a statuesque 6-footer with slender long legs and - an anomaly in the women's game (outside of Serena Williams, Nicole Vaidosova, Caroline Wozniacki and perhaps handful of others) - a curvaceous female athlete actually built like a woman: that is to say, she has a rack! (Think about it: when's the last time you saw a top female tennis player that actually needed to wear a sports bra? I have a short list of candidates - see "The All England Rack-It Club" - but only a scant few are also top-heavy in the WTA rankings.) Facially, she reminds me of a cross between actresses Jill Hennessy and Sandra Bullock.

And on April 24th, this 32nd-ranked outsider "stunned" world No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki 7-6 (7-3), 6-3 in the Stuttgart WTA claycourt final to win her first title of the year in front of an ecstatic home crowd. I put "stunned" in quotes because, cute and loveable and media-friendly as the Dane darling is, I've always seen her as a pretender and not a true contender for the throne of women's tennis - she's a counterpuncher who's pretty good in all aspects of the game without any one go-to weapon in her arsenal that's a knockout punch. And she's still never won a Grand Slam event. (I rest my case.) Now, Julia Goerges has a similar all-around game, and is not exactly fleet of foot (she's carrying around that extra real estate uptown, after all), but at 6-feet tall, her kick-serve is a force to be reckoned with. Let's hope she carries on her current excellent form to even bigger accomplishments as the 2011 French Open (where Julia lost to Serena Williams in the second round last year) nears!

Tennis Is Looking Up, Down Under

2010 Australian Open Early Round Round-up

The only thing that keeps me from getting depressed thinking about my upcoming birthday at the end of this month (my own little variant of Seasonal Anxiety Disorder) is...the first Grand Slam tennis event of the year! Here are some random thoughts about the first week's matches...

Justine Is Back, Ready to Slam!


Back for one more at the Aussie Open

She'll never be as popular as her countrywoman - and fellow un-retiree - Kim Clijsters , and she's always been too-tightly wrapped (each match seems to present an existential crisis), but Justine Henin is my favorite female tennis player and I'm glad she's back in her first Grand Slam, and only her second tournament (she lost that first tournament to Clijsters two weeks ago in Brisbane in three tight sets - after blowing match points in the second set), since retiring from the game 18 months ago. That's good for the game of tennis, as the women's pro tour needs the competition. In what commentator Chris Fowler called "perhaps the greatest second-round match in Grand Slam history," Henin met #5 Elena Dementieva, who was fresh over a big win over Serena Williams. But everyone knew how this one was gonna play out (was there ever any doubt?). Brad Gilbert nailed it best when he predicted Dementieva would get a big case of "the wobblies" (big game jitters) against an opponent who owned her on tour and the long-legged Russian went down in straight sets to her nemesis, 7-5, 7-6 (8-6).


Not Fade Away: Henin with another put-away

Dementieva was magnanimous and gracious in defeat, heaping praise on the player who hung another defeat at a major on her.

"She’s a great player,” Dementieva said afterwards, adding that it was like the petite Belgian had never left the game. "Playing against her, you really can learn a lot and improve your game. We really need these kind of players to increase the level of the game. So it’s great to have her back here on the tour.”


Dementieva: At a loss at what to do with Henin

Henin now has a 10-2 record against Dementieva, whose serve Justine broke on seven of 15 opportunities. Big wobblies indeed...

Serb and Folly


Ivanovich's ball toss form has really gone south

And speaking of poor serving, Martina Navratilova was spot-on when she pointed out the gist of former World No. 1 (ever-so-briefly), Ana Ivanovich's problems since her breakthrough year in 2008 when when she won the French Open and reached the Australian Open final. In a nutshell: She's lost her serve and hence her nerve. "Everything flows from the serve," Martina commented. "When your lose confidence in being able to hold serve, everything else follows." Ivanovic was able to get by her athletic but out-classed opponent, Shenay Perry, in straight sets (6-2, 6-3) - but don't count on her advancing too far with a serving game that is starting to resemble Dementieva's iffy form from a few years back. Navratilova quite rightly noted that Ana's serving woes all stemmed from a technical breakdown in her erratic ball toss - a technical deficiency that is also plaguing another former World #1, Maria Sharapova. Speaking of which...

Q: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? A: Beat Her!

I'm so glad 2008 Australian Open champ Maria Sharapova lost in the first round to her fellow-22-year-old, fellow-Roosk, fellow-Maria: Maria Kirilenko. For one thing, there was no way I could stomach Sharapova's hideous Creature from the Black Lagoon seaweed ensemble (shown below):


Sharapova as Seaweed Sally

I'm sick of these tennis stars with their sideshow fashion lines trying to pimp their game like it's red carpet time at the Oscars. Tennis players are paid to play tennis and their fans pay to watch them play tennis. If I wanna look at gear, I'll switch over to Sundance Channel's Full-Frontal Fashion show or dig out my Goth fetish mags.

My ears are also delighted that Sharapova lost, as her screeching has gotten really annoying. Unfortunately, her audio aura is never far from mind thanks to the presence of fellow Rooskie grunter Victoria Azarenka, who like Kirilenko advanced to the second round. (Click here to see a list of the Top 10 Grunters on the Women's Tour - half of whom are Russian or Belarussian - courtesy of the UK Telegraph)


Kirilenko says "Shush" to her compatriot

Another bonus to Sharapova's early exit is that it stops cold all those lazy network broadcasters like Dick "Shoulda Retired Years Ago" Enberg who babble on endlessly about her beauty and fashion sense, neither of which are justified. Sharapova strikes me as a charming personality, but when people talk about her a babe I gotta set the record straight: she's an albatross. (And certainly carries one around her neck since her shoulder injury.) Check out her 6-2 wingspan, with those wide-axle shoulders that only an ox would envy.

If you want babe-age, look no further than her first round opponent, the very-fit, very lovely world #58, Maria Kirilenko (who as a teen won a 2004 doubles title with Sharapova in Birmingham, England).


Maria Kirilenko: The Total Babe Package

Boy howdy! And the Moscow beauty turns 23 next week, which makes her a fellow Aquarian like me (albeit with decades of age difference!). Check out her official web site: www.mkirilenko.com.

Oooo-Ooooo...Oudin!


Melanie Oudin: All over but the shouting (and the finish)

Of course, another unimaginative broadcasters' fave is America's Sweetheart, world #49 Melanie Oudin, whose 15 minutes of fame expired long ago. All that blabbering about her "Heartbeat of America" pluck and Norman Rockwell spirit. Bollocks! She's still a kid and still learning the game. She got lucky last year beating some Russians whose rankings were perhaps a little over inflated to begin with (including a rehabbing Sharapova who is still not 100% and two notorious big-game chokers in Petrova and Dementieva). Anybody see Oudin in Fed Cup action in 2009? She went 1-3, needing three sets to defeat an Argentine with a world ranking of #132 (Betima Jozami) while losing to Agentina's #36 Gisela Dulko and Italy's #18 Franesca Schiavone and, in the final, #12 Flavia Pennetta. Yet she won the Fed Cup's BNP Paribas Heart Award. Pathetic - pure hype. Let's move on, shall we? I get the feeling the Great American Hopeful is just the female Donald Young. Oh, by the way, she lost in the first round to #91-ranked Russian (they're everywhere!) Alla Kudryavtseva, 2-6, 7-5, 7-5.

The Bitch Is Back


Serena says: "Feets don't fail me now!"

It's still Serena Williams tournament to lose (unless the resurgent Belgians, Henin or Clijsters, can stop her - or the very sharp-looking, very hungry world #3 Svetlana Kuznetsova, who twice has lost in the finals here - both times to Justine Henin) but Serena's already lost the sexism argument. When asked by a broadcaster about her U.S. Open final implosion last September, Serena claimed that the whole thing was blown out of proportion because she was a woman and that she would not have been penalized $92,000 for threatening the female linesperson if she was a man. WTF??? (What The Foot-fault???) Where did that conspiracy theory come from? Johnny Mac, Nasty, and Connors on their worst days never threatened a referee or linesperson like Serena did. Even Darren Cahill pipped that he thought she got off pretty lucky with not getting suspended for her U.S. Open doubles final with sister Venus the next day, pointing out that in any other sport (certainly in soccer of baseball) such behavior would have merited an automatic suspension. Serena does her best talking on the court, not off it. Play on, Serena - and watch your feet (and your mouth - it goes without saying!).

Now, I haven't caught much of the men's action, though I saw that Roger Federer had a pretty tough first-round draw against Maria Kirilenko's big-serving pal, world #37 Igor Andreev. Roger Federer had never faltered in an opening match of a major played on a hard-court surface, but he was pushed and pushed hard by Iggy. If the Henin-Dementieva match was the perhaps the toughest second round clash in Grand Slam history, you could make an argument on the men's side for this first-round match (no to mention that five-set second-rounder between Juan Martin Del Potro and James Blake). Don't forget, Andreev has a history of giving Federer a difficult time, having pushed Federer to a five-setter in the fourth round two years ago at the U.S Open. As Federer knows from last year's Wimbledon final, any time you go up against a big server, there's a chance for an upset...

And speaking of big servers, the only full match I've seen so far was Andy Roddick's first rounder against The Boy from Brazil...

Give A-Rod A Hand - But Just One!


Hands-off: A-Rod learns less is more

I'm no Andy Roddick fan, as I've always thought he was a hot-headed one-trick pony in dire need of some humility, but I think he's gotten some following his spirit-crushing defeat to Roger Federer (who else?) in last year's Wimbleton final (the match of the year and an all-time classic, as far as I'm concerned). His work ethic has never been questioned (you don't stay in the Top 10 and win at least one title a year for 10 consecutive years without being dedicated to your work!) but now he's playing really well since he's added a one-handed slice backhand to his game. In his straight-set win over young Brazilian Tomaz Bellucci, he used it almost exclusively (I don't recall seeing more than one or two two-handed backhands the entire match). As the Zen saying goes, A-Rod's new shot is the equivalent of one hand clapping.

A-Rod's backhand was always his weak spot, but since he added the slice it's become, dare I say, a weapon. No, he doesn't hit winners with it, but uses it to set up points. Another two-hander, Raphael Nadal, has similarly added the one-handed slice backhand to his ever-expanding arsenal, with similar results - as has Novak Djokovic. It may mean these players have to play additional shots instead of going for outright winners on the backhand, but that's what constructing points and strategy is all about. Just ask Roger Federer on that score!

Ok, back to watching some more late-night tennis...

Another "Oh My" Moment for Dick Enberg

When is a Dick an Ass? When he's an Enberg.



2009 U.S. Open tennis winner Juan Martin Del Potro got a trophy, $2 million dollars and a Lexus, but all he really wanted to do was say a few words in Spanish.

Once again, Dick "Oh My!" Enberg has lived up to his name by squeezing the air out of big broadcasting moments and begging the question: why don't you retire and leave the airwaves to the competent? As a sports commentator for CBS Sports, 74-year-old Dick Enberg has stayed too long at the fair and should be put to pasture. All he can add are the usual bromides about the obvious stars, though even then he manages to mangle their names, tennis being an international sport and Enberg being the lazy and embarrassing embodiment of The Ugly American aesthetic. Remember Enberg's gaffe at the 2007 U.S. Open when he called Justine Henin - who was so shattered by a messy divorce settlement earlier in the year that she withdrew from the Australian Open - by her married name of Henin-Hardenne during the trophy presentation? But hey, as Shakespeare pondered, what's in a name, right?



And as far as international relations go, who cares if these award ceremonies - with the exception of the French Open (God bless the French!) - are by defacto conducted in English. Is that a problem, we monolingual Yanks ask? (Made me think of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode in which a clueless Larry David mistakes the Norwegian golf pro for a Swede: "Swedish, Norwegian - what's the difference anyway?" to which Sven angrily retorts "Language, history, culture!") U.S. Open Women's Singles Runnerup Caroline Wozniacki conducted her post-match interview in English, Danish, and Polish. Federer speaks at least four laanguages fluently, and even Nadal has gotten savvy enough with his Spanglish to talk to the American press. But with the exception of soccer star Landon Donovan and Lakers star Kobe Bryant, I've never seen an American sports figure conduct an interview in a foreign language.

But I digress (as I usually do)...my point is, we're lucky that so many international sports figures - many of whom have bypassed school to turn pro at an early age - can speak English. But it is their second language at best. So during their Taylor Swift moment of glory in the spotlight, let them express themselves in their native language if they want. And don't first refuse and then grudgingly let them speak "quickly" as Dick Enberg did on Monday night. As Progressive pitchwoman Flo would say, "That's cold!"

What am I talking about? I'm talking about the U.S. Open trophy (or rather atrophied) ceremonies Monday night following world No. 6 Juan Martin Del Potro's exciting five set victory over five-time defending champion Roger Federer when Enberg brusquely brushed off Del Potro's request to say a few words in Spanish like the teary-eyed 20-year-old Argentine wunderkid was a panhandler asking for bus fare.



Del Potro's Spanish address prompted a huge ovation from the crowd (which included many Argentines in their national soccer jerseys and waving flags) and brought tears to his eyes. It was a big moment of national pride - one that Argentina needs in a year in which their soccer team is struggling to qualify for the World Cup.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one to criticize Enberg and CBS for the awkwardness of the trophy presentation ceremnonies. I agree with the viewer who wrote the following complaint to the U.S. Open officials, one that perfectly illustrates how demeaning this dis was to Del Potro:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to register a very strong complaint about the US Open telecast last night - in particular, about your hosts’ behaviour at the presentation ceremony.

Juan Martin del Potro had just won his first major, defeating his idol in the final, and he wanted to address his friends and family in his native language - I don’t understand Spanish, but it was clearly something that meant a lot and was a very emotional moment for him.

It was most disrespectful and extremely crass of Dick Enberg to deny del Potro his moment by first declining outright his very polite request, and then later granting it only after being extremely condescending (”Quickly.”). I don’t know whether it was him personally, or whether someone from CBS was in his ear telling him to finish it quickly, but how can anyone possibly promote, defend or excuse such behaviour? In addition, the pathetic excuse given was a lack of time - but there was obviously enough time to tell del Potro that he was getting a nice Lexus (and making a pitch for the product at the same time)!! I am sure that Mr. Del Potro would have greatly preferred to speak to his people instead of being told what wonderful prizes he was getting for winning.

Again, I am dismayed by the great disrespect shown to a worthy champion in favour of appeasing corporate sponsors and/or pursuing the regularly scheduled programmes, and hence I am of the opinion that Juan Martin del Potro is owed an official apology from CBS and Mr. Enberg

And a blogger named YoungGuns added:

During tonights US Open award ceremony Dick Enberg did a couple things that were more disrespectful than what Kanye West did last night. What Kanye did was a classless thing to do and whether or not he was drunk (which I believe he was) it was something that no entertainer should do to another.

What Dick Enberg did did is much worse however. Dick decided to treat Roger Federer like the winner of the tournament while Del Potro was treated like an aftershow. He allowed Federer more time at the mic and made many references to the past championships rather than the one at hand. To top things off he orginally did not allow Del Potro to speak in his native tongue to his fellow countrymen after the English interview stating that they were running out of time and needed to get on with the ceremony. Only after a little convincing did he allow the rebuffed and crestfallen Del Potro to speak "a few quick words in Spanish."

His U.S. Open quips won't make this edition

Naturally the suits at CBS defended Enberg and said he was only doing his job. As the National Post wrote, "Enberg's bosses were probably screaming in his earpiece to move quickly to get back-to-back episodes of How I Met Your Mother — reruns, no less — on the air." But as a supposed lover of the game of tennis, Enberg surely must know that regardless of the corporate vultures for whom he shills, there is the Sportscasting Moment that can never be replayed. This was it, this was Del Potro's moment, and Enberg the Company Man sided with the filthy lucre over The Beautiful Game. Swing and a miss, Dick. Again.

Related Links:
Can I Speak in Spanish? (NY Times)
Angry reaction to host who refused to let Del Potro speak in Spanish (Buenos Aires Herald)

Federer Doesn't Give a Shit!

And That's OK!


"It's not the end of the world"

Although I was initially sad that my man Roger Federer lost last night's U.S. Open final to Juan Martin Del Potro after five mentally and physically draining sets (6-3, 6-7, 6-4, 6-7, 2-6,), upon reflection it made me appreciate the man and the athlete - and his accomplishments - even more. Federer made the finals of all four Grand Slams this year - for the unprecedented third time in his career! (2006, 2007, 2009) - and three of them went to five sets - five-set defeats at the Australian (to Nadal) and U.S. Open (to Del Potro) bookending the year, and a miraculous five-set tuff-it-out win over Andy Roddick (playing the Game of His Life) at Wimbledon being even more impressive to me than his French Open straight sets win over Robin Soderling (who in tennis terms became "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" for his upset dethroning of the King of Clay, Rafa Nadal) that gave him his career Grand Slam, broke his perennial run as Nadal's runnerup at Roland Garros, and reminded people once again that he was the Second Greatest Clay Court Player of his generation (a fact lost amidst all the "All-Time Greatest Player" talk). This was Roger's seventh consecutive Grand Slam final. He's appeared in a record 21 Grand Slam finals, winning 15 of them (but this was his first loss to someone not named Nadal). He had won 40 consecutive matches at Flushing Meadows. He had won 33 of his previous 34 Grand Slam matches. And he has made the final at 17 of the last 18 Grand Slam tournaments. And serving for the match at 5-4, 30-love, he was two points away from his 16th Slam.

He gave it his all, but at the end of the day maybe he just wasn't that hungry for it after all those accomplishments.

"Can't have them all," he said afterwards.

Federer's very competitive but even champions need their motivation recharged. I mean, even adult film star Johnny "Wadd" Holmes, after sleeping with over 1,000 women, must have reached a point where he found it hard to "erect the architecture of success" (if ya know what I mean, and I think ya do) at the sight of yet another nekkid babe. In other words, Federer's been there, done that (done it it all, in fact), and has no real hurtles to jump. As New Jersey Sports pointed out in its excellent "Grading the U.S. Open" review, "He's at a crossroads, really. There's no barriers left. He's conquered history and ruled the game for a while..." And let's face it, Roger's quip before the final that it would ne nice to win his first major as a Dad seemed a stretch even for him (the "First Dad To Win a Grand Slam" distinction isn't really a much coveted or sought-after goal on the men's tennis tour). Hardly a die-hard motivation, like beating Nadal at the French. But that's OK.

Tennis Superman Starting to Show He's All Too Human

Just as we get less tolerant as we age and let our true feelings be known (because we don't care what people think when we're running out of time and don't have anything to lose), Roger's starting to loosen up, show more emotion, show some human frailty, and let it all hang out - for better or worse. Witness him tossing a racket in a match earlier this year and then his heated expletive-not-deleted exchange with the chair umpire during the final when Juan Martin Del Potro was allowed to challenge a call after a lengthy period of time. Federer had already headed to his chair where, seated, he argued "I wasn't allowed to challenge after two seconds. The guy takes like 10 every time. Don't you have any rules?"

When the umpire told Federer to be quiet, the usually overly polite and gentlemanly champion took umbrage: Stop showing me the hand, OK? Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? When I want to talk I'll talk, all right...I don't give a shit what he said, OK? I just say he waited too long. Don't fucking tell me the rules. I was not allowed to challenge..."



Opening Up at the U.S. Open

I like it. It's controlled petulance and it makes it easier for us mere mortals to relate to The Living Legend. In this regard, perhaps only this regard, he is just like us. I'm actually finding the runner-up Federer to be a much more interesting and complex character than Roger the unassailable King. It may just keep him hungry instead of being merely sated once again, sitting at the head of the banquet table. Now he not only has Nadal chowing down at the fete, but now a giant of a giant-slayer in Del Potro (who also seems to have Nadal's number) - not to mention Andy Murray, Djokovic, and other would-be spoilers in the ever-competitive Top 10.

Back to New Jersey Sports' and their spot-on question of the hour about the man already called The Greatest Tennis Player Ever: "Can he keep himself motivated enough to maintain his place? The talent is there. But he needs to respond better when players punch him in the mouth. He rallied past Andy Roddick at Wimbledon, but couldn't conjure up the same spirit in the final against del Potro. Now that all the barriers are gone, will Federer keep his form up?"

So far, the form's there. But maybe there's just that little suggestion of, "Well, it's not so bad if I let this one slip away" lurking in deepest recesses of his will. Don't forget, back in August at the Montreal Masters, Roger inexplicably let a 5-1 third-set lead against Jo-Wilfried Tsongo slip away to lose his quarterfinal match 7-6, 1-6, 7-6. "I never should have allowed it," Roger said afterwards. "But it did happen."

We're all waiting to see what happens with Roger Federer from this point on. To see if he really doesn't give a shit, as he told that chair umpire. Or if he can rekindle the kind of competitive fire that saw him break down in tears after Nadal defeated him at this year's Australian Open final. Either way is OK, Roger; you've more than earned your place in tennis history. I'm just curious how this drama is going to play out.

Love Comes In Sports

Love comes in spurts, in dangerous flirts
And it murders your heart, they never tell you that part
- Richard Hell, "Love Comes in Spurts"

I spent all Saturday night watching Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Fourth Season and all day Sunday watching sports (specifically soccer and tennis) - for which I just couldn't curb my enthusiasm. Especially when it came to my two new jockette crushes: Brazilian soccer superstar Marta and Chinese tennis star Zi Yan.

Marta is Marta Viera de Silva, a 23-year-old Brazilian beauty and three-time FIFA World Player of the Year who currently plays forward for the Los Angeles Sol of the Women's Professional Soccer (WPS) league. LA, the best team in the WPS all season, lost the championship game this past Sunday to New Jersey's upstart FC Sky Blue (perhaps the most inappropriately named franchise in the WPS - I sure don't think of blue skies when I think of Joisey! It's more a West Coast, "Golden State"-sounding hippy-dippy name) - but not from a lack of effort from gifted goal-scorer Marta who, like all Brazilian soccer stars, goes by a singular sobriquet. But what struck me most about the long-legged Brazilian striker was her bronze-skinned beauty.


Miss Golden Ball: Dear-to-my-hearta Marta

She's a total babe (despite having been named the manly-sounding "Golden Ball" MVP at the FIFA U-19 Women's World Championship), albeit one who can kick you studs-up in your naughty bits if you get on her bad side. Fortunately, Los Angeles Lakers superstar and avid soccer fan Kobe Bryant is on her good side, so good that he's given her free courtside season tickets to Lakers home games (hmmm, I wonder if the roaming-eye hoopster's trying to score some extra added time with her - if so, someone should tell him about the locker room allegations that Marta's secret girlfriend is fellow Sol sister Johanna Frisk, her former teammate at Swedish club Umea IK; in fact, it was even alleged that Marta only signed with LA Sol after they agreed to sign her blondie "best boo" Frisk).


Marta and Frisky: Playing for the "other" team?

Brazilian fans have compared her to all-time soccer great Pele (Edison Arantes do Nascimento), even going so far as to refer to her as "Pele with a skirt" - and she remains the only woman ever to have a cement imprint of her feet immortalized alongside those of the male stars at Brazil's famous national stadium Estádio do Maracanã in Rio de Janeiro. It's easy to see why: she's a superstar (see highlights reel).


Marta highlights reel

Unfortunately, despite all her many talents and accolades, the WPS Championship Game was an all-too-familiar result for Marta.


Unachieved Goals: Marta's Brazil was only second best

Though she won four consecutive regular season titles with Umea IK in Sweden's domestic women's soccer league from 2005-2008, Marta has yet to hoist any post-season trophies other than Sweden's 2007 Svenska Cup and the 2007 U-20 Pan American Games cup. Playing for her national side at the 2004 and 2008 Summer Olympics, Brazil finished second, while the national side was also the runnerup in the 2007 FIFA Women's World Cup.


Marta is the pin-up gal of Nike ads

Though Marta's Brazil lost the Women's World Cup championship game to Germany 2-0, they did beat the US in a game that featured a fantastic Marta goal.


Marta's world-class World Cup goal against the USA

Ah, but there's more to life than futbol and my gal's second favorite sport is none other than tennis...which brings me to Zi Yan.


Yes I Yan! Zi Yan of China

Channel surfing the Tennis Channel, I happened across the doubles final of the LA Women's Tennis Championship, which pitted two Eastern Euro gals - Agnieszka Radwańska of Poland and Maria Kirilenko of Russia - against two Chinese players, Chia-Jung Chuang of Chinese Taipei (otherwise known as Taiwan) and Zi Yan of China.


"Nice Formosa forehand partner!"
Zi Yan (R) compliments Taiwanese partner Chuang


"We've got to stop meeting like this!"
mainlander Yan (L) tells islander Chuang

It was the first ever pairing of the Chinese women, whose partnership accentuated their strengths and offset their weaknesses - namely, Chuang was all serve but no volley and Zi Yan was all volley and no serve (her serve was so bad that she actually double-faulted three times in a love-nothing game in which not a single ball crossed the net!). Their opponents across the net were somewhat similar in their symbiotic relationship, with Kirilenko the steadier server and net player, while baselinner Radwanska had a weak serve (mid-70s mph) but stronger groundstrokes.


We can work it out: Zi Yan and Chia-Jung Chuang
offset each other's weaknesses

Ah, but at the net the tall but slight (5-7, 120 lbs) Zi Yan was a volley monster - pouncing, poaching, and pummeling away anything that came her way with her two-handed forehand and backhand. Despite being shafted when serving for the match at 5-3 by a horrendous umpire's overrule (the umpire thought an unreturnable winning lob on championship point was returnable - even though the Euro babes didn't contest it and had started walking off the court! - and ordered the point replayed), the Chinese duo broke back to take the title 6-0, 6-4, characteristically winning on yet another two-handed passing shot by Yan, who at the net was a veritable Great Wall of China; nothing got past her.


Tall and tan and young and lovely
the girl from Chendu, Sichuan goes walking

Yan's lithe frame and weak serve typifies the problems facing Chinese women's tennis: with the possible exceptions of Li Na and Peng Shuai, the Chinese athletes lack the power to compete in singles with the heavy-hitting Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova's in the top echelon of the sport. That's why the Chinese tennis federation has concentrated on developing competitive doubles teams, where finese and volleying moxie are more important than booming serves and heavy baseline groundstrokes. Yan would have trouble making the cut of most singles tournaments on the women's tour, but as a doubles player paired with someone who can hold serve, she could be a legitimate contender for some more silverware, like the LA Women's Tennis Championship (shown below).


We are the champions!

Previously, Yan enjoyed some success partnering with Jie Zheng, with whom she won the 2008 Medibank International in Sydney, Australia (shown below).


Yan and Zheng raising their cups to success in Sydney

Zheng certainly fits the bill as the type of player Yan partners well with, being a consistent server with good groundstrokes (especially her two-handed backhand), famously reaching the 2008 Wimbledon semifinals - making her the first Chinese women's tennis player ever to reach the semifinals of a Grand Slam singles tournament - after beating then-World No. 1 Ana Ivanovic and two other Top 20 WTA players, elevating her to her highest tour ranking of No. 40.

Of course, on a purely aesthetic level, I love to watch the perky Zi Yan receiving serve, bouncing on her heels and stretching those gorgeous breadstick legs of hers (perhaps the best gams on the women's tour) side-to-side; at moments like this, life is good.


Zi Yan's leg show


Yan's glam gams


Pretty pegs pouncing


A 7th inning-worthy stretch

Speaking of doubles, check out Burhard Bilger's excellent article "Perfect Match" in this week's New Yorker magazine about the Bryan brothers (identical twins Bob and Mike) and the future of the doubles game. It's one of the best pieces of sports writing I've read. It makes the point that in the 70s and 80s, more singles players played doubles (e.g., Martina Navaratilova and John McEnroe) both to make money (prize money was laughably low) and to hone their skills as volleyers and that today's singles players are almost exclusively one-dimensional and cookie-cutter: big servers who power groundstrokes from the baseline. Combined with changes in racquet technology, this has all but killed the serve-and-volley game. The article also makes a great point about how John McEnroe's singles career took a nose-dive in the mid-80s when he stopped playing doubles; he may have been more rested, but what Mac (who never liked to practice all that much) gained in time he ultimately lost in maintaining his sharpness at the net. (Not much, mind you - Mac's a great volleyer still, but it made a difference in terms of titles, for sure.)

Related links:
Zi Yan @ Sony Ericcson WTA Tour

BALL GIRLS OF MADRID !

Tennis is a lot sexier in Spain !












THE NILES LESH PROJECT - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2009

Andy Roddick is a Dick

And other 2009 French Open observations...


Don't worry Andy: Lacoste still loves you

I just finished watching Frenchman Gael Monfils defeat the last "American in Paris," world no. 6 Andy Roddick in straight sets at Roland Garros 6-4, 6-2, 6-3. And I realized that not only is Roddick a loser, and a sore loser at that, but a major dick.

Shock to the System
But first, the shock of the century in terms of tennis: Rafael Nadal lost at the French Open - and not to Roger Federer! No, the King of Clay lost on his favorite surface to a relative unknown in World No. 25, Swede Robin Soderling (how fitting that a fellow Swede protected Bjorn Borg's record of four consecutive Roland Garros crowns from being surpassed by the young Spaniard!). How did he do it? Soderling had a game plan and he executed it perfectly. First, he served big (an essential against Nadal); second, he flattened his forehand and took the ball early so that his volleys and Nadal's serves came back at Nadal fast and harder than Chinese arithmetic - some of those Soderling forehands sounded like skull-crunching Mike Tyson punches to the head (and this was on clay, not hard courts!). This helped keep Rafa pinned behind the baseline and tactically kept him on the defensive. I mean, what's the last time you saw Nadal, who tracks down everything (with authority), flail helplessly at his opponent's shots? Add to that Soderling's natural physical gifts of being tall - which enables him, whenever he doesn't take Nadal's shots early, to adjust and handle Nadal's high-bouncing topspin shots on the baseline - and having a two-handed backhand, which is almost a requirement against Nadal's heavy groundstrokes. Much as I love the one-handed backhand (especially Federer's), it often lacks the ooomph needed to put Nadal on the defensive.

The loss really had to needle Nadal, because he really dislikes Soderling. The world may not know much about Soderling, but Nadal sure does. Remember the ill feelings between the two in the third round of the 2007 Wimbledon tournament? Nadal beat the Swede in five sets in a delayed match that took five days to complete - 6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (7), 4-6, 7-5 - by which time they had seen more than enough of each other to last a lifetime. According to San Francisco Chronicle reporter Bruce Jenkins, Nadal told the Spanish press afterwards: "He's very strange. I say hello to him seven times to his face, he never answers. He hits a lucky shot, he does not wave (the protocol gesture of apology). I thought it was me, but I asked around the locker room and almost nobody has anything nice to say about him. If I fall down, he says nothing. He touches his ass, grabs his pants, makes fun of me - very unprofessional." (To see what ticked off Rafa in that match, check out this video clip of Soderling imitating Nadal.) So, OK, Nadal is out; but so, apparently, is a little class at the French Open. But there's still a pretty classy guy hanging around there...


Federer: Class not yet dismissed

Attention Deficit? Beast of Burden?
With Rafa out of the way, Roger Federer has the most realistic chance of his career to win the French Open title that has eluded him ever since Nadal came to own la terre battue. But Federer isn't the same Jolly Roger of years past; he's mortal now, losing to or being tested by players other than those named Djokovic, Nadal, Murray or his old Argentine nemesis David Nalbandian - people like Radek Stepanek, Giles Simon and Guillermo Canas. It's almost a distraction and a burden for him now. How else to explain dropping two sets against a skillful, but erratic, 31-year-old Tommy Haas? Still, Federer being Federer, with a Will To Triumph and a mental toughness matched only by Rafa Nadal, Roger came back from a 30-40, 3-4 third set deficit to reel off nine straight games and a 5-set win over a mentally deflated Haas and advance to a quarter-final match against the player he beat in last year's semi-final, French favorite Gael Monfils...

...who defeated last American hopeful Andy Roddick in straight sets in the fading light of Suzanne Lenglen Court at Roland Garros.


Monfils: Long 'n' lean retrieving machine

Paris: City of Lights...and Lightweights
I watched this match, and while, yes, the light was fading and Andy complained about it, it's funny how his supposed inability to "see" the ball didn't affect his opponent's ability to see the ball. Apparently, it was only dark on Roddick's side of the court. Hmmmm, it didn't seem to alter the quality of play at last year's Wimbledon final - you know, the Federer-Nadal final that's been called the match of the century. What I'm leading up to, of course, is the point of view I've had for years about the brash Texan with the big serve: he's a dick. Fellow Texan George W. Bush was called a Cowboy Diplomat, and I see Roddick's game as nothing but Cowboy Tennis. Big rocket serve, big crushing forehand, nothing else. All shock and awe. He's never added to that arsenal. Though he's been through a slew of coaches who've worked on improving his backhand (the one-handed slice backhand just doesn't work for him) and on encouraging him to come to net (he only seems to do it when he's down and panicking - and he still looks pretty awkward there), it's never happened. Because he's a stubborn Texan, like George W. If he can't win with power and bullying his opponent around the court, he's just not interested. He gets flustered, hot, and bothered.

And that's what he came up against in French super-athlete Gael Monfils. World no. 10 Monfils isn't much of a tactician, and I think he lacks mental toughness outside of his comfort zone (which is Roland Garros), but the guy can outrun just about anyone on the tour not named Rafael Nadal. He gets to everything. In fact, he used to wear himself out by trying to retrieve EVERYTHING his opponents threw at him. But he's noticeably muscled up his stringbean physique of late and grown mentally tougher as well. He nullified Roddick's serve (Monfils actually out-aced Roddick, if you can believe that!), and basically forced Roddick to hit more than one or two shots on his service games. That means volleying, and Roddick doesn't like long volleys because they require him to think and not just wail away at the ball and try to blow his opponents off the court. Monfils being a grinder, that forced Roddick into a lot of unforced errors and lost service games. Plus, well, Monfils has a beautiful touch at the net; some of those angled drop shots recall McEnroe back in his heyday, artistic strokes worthy of a Left Bank painter.

Oh, almost forgot: Monfils also out-bullied the Mighty Mopin' Power Ranger, hitting 45 winners to Roddick’s 18 and 17 aces to the Rocket Man's 4.

But what really got to me watching this match was listening to how rude and nasty Roddick was. After losing the second set, he yelled at a ball boy, "Yellow drink. I want a yellow drink. GET ME A YELLOW DRINK, GOT THAT!!!" Nice sportsmanship there, superstar. Then he yelled at the French umpire, "Don't tell ME that it's light enough out. I'm the one OUT THERE PLAYING. So don't you TELL ME ANYTHING."

What a total dickhead. When Monfils grinned after watching Roddick once again berate the chair umpire, Roddick shouted at him "You're not that good to get that cocky!" (Ummm, yes he is, Andy - and you're sure not gonna wipe that smile off his face!) And I'm sure Mr. Bluster didn't like Monfils working the decidely biased home crowd. But doesn't Roddick do exactly the same thing back in his house, the U.S. Open. And Andy, as your fellow American redneck Kid Rock would say, "You think I'm cocky, and I say 'What?'/It ain't cocky motherfucker if you back it up." Unfortunately, Roddick's mouth is just like his on-court game: all bullying power with no subtlety. He's got one U.S. Open title and nothing else since to back it up. Besides, if he won this match, he'd have had to face Federer, who's 18-2 lifetime against the brash baseliner. So go gently into the night Andy - and shut up or back it up. If not with results, then with class, like Roger.