Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 1966

Until last night I had never seen "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" which is odd because I love Virginia Woolf. Not that the play necessarily has much to do with Woolf herself. I'm not sure how faithful Mike Nichols' film adaptation is to the play, but I experienced such a range of emotion last night watching the movie. In the beginning, all the one liners and epithets George and Martha lob at each other are incredibly funny - but by the end of the movie I was deeply depressed. Also, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton are both really good in it. It's strange how no movie stars in this day and age are really talented actors. We've gone from actually talented larger than life personalities to simply outrageously attractive people with no substance whatsoever. I was struck by the deep sense of stasis that all four characters are mucking around in - all trapped in their little jail cells. In the beginning I was trying to keep track of how many drinks were consumed but within fifteen minutes I had lost count. I'd like to resolve to never be this unhappy. Regardless, it's an incredible film. I'd love to read the play and see a great stage production if someone will revive it.

For Neda

I just watched this new HBO documentary For Neda on the murder of Neda Soltan during the protests of the Iranian elections. You probably saw the horrifying video of Neda's murder on YouTube or a news site - in the video as she's out protesting she's shot and bleeds to death. This documentary explains the events leading up to Neda's death, both in her personal life and in the country. It answers the question "Who was Neda?" And "Why did she die?"

Whoa! and Beeswax

I changed the layout of this blog after six years of the same damn thing. What do you think?

A few weeks ago, I watched Beeswax (which is currently streaming on Netflix, fyi) - a very cinema verite film about identical twin sisters floating through life in Austin, Texas. A.O. Scott had some very lovely things to say about the film when it was in theaters last year. When I say "real-life cinema" I mean it: the twins are played by actual identical twins. They, and all the other actors in this movie are "unprofessional actors." Watching Beeswax is like watching your friends talk in front of a video camera. As time (and the internet) marches on, I suspect we'll see more films like this one: unscripted and amateurish, uploaded to YouTube or Vimeo. Making movies is expensive and getting an independent film distributed is near to impossible.

Andrew Bujalski, the director of Beeswax, has been called the "Godfather of Mumblecore," and with no-name, non-professional actors, he's creating movies closest to the original meaning of Mumblecore in comparison to some of his compatriots who have gone off for more mainstream success. However, according to his wikipedia entry, Bujalski is now at work on a screen-adaptation of Benjamin Kunkel's novel, Indecision, for Paramount pictures.

Mumblecore is an American independent film movement that arose in the early 2000s. It is primarily characterized by ultra-low budget production (often employing digital video cameras), focus on personal relationships between twenty-somethings, improvised scripts, and non-professional actors.

Beeswax tells the story of twins Jeannie and Lauren, who, after a relatively lazy and comfortable life, have to come to terms with some major changes. Jeannie, who is wheelchair-bound, finds herself in a legal dispute over the ownership of her vintage store with her absentee partner. Lauren is smugly unemployed, going through the motions of trying to find a job but unsure of what she wants to do. Merrill is Jeannie's former-boyfriend - she brings him back into her life under the guise of needing legal advice as he's studying for the Bar. To say that anything really happens in this film would be to misunderstand it, but in the vein of Sherman's March, it is deeply enjoyable. It's refreshing to see young people struggling for stability and meaning in their lives - real young people, who aren't inexplicably wealthy or attractive like 20somethings in Hollywood movies. The actresses who play Jeannie and Lauren are strikingly beautiful in a unique way, very muscular, Amazonian women. Beeswax feels almost New Wave in its reluctance to offer us anything more than a splice of life permeated by mood and sideways glances. It's the ripple-effect from these subtle details that makes Beeswax truly compelling.

Metropolis Restored

Fritz Lang's unbelievably progressive film Metropolis has long been a favorite of movie buffs all over the world. Made in 1927, Lang anticipates skyscrapers, television, elevators and highways in this story of industry and corruption.

However, since its original premiere in Berlin, most viewers have found the film confusing and a bit aimless. After the movie was released, there were complaints about its length (2 1/2 hours) and it was cut down by thirty minutes, and the excised film was presumed destroyed. Not so! In 2008, Fernando Pena, a film archivist, found a copy of the complete Metropolis in the Museo del Cine in Buenos Aries. Film Forum in New York and select theaters across the United States are now showing the restored version during the month of May, with a DVD release to follow.

I saw the restored version on Monday night, and it was well worth it. What's interesting: the missing parts only survive as 16mm transfers, so it's easy to discern as you watch the film which are the new scenes. The character of The Thin Man, who was practically removed from the last version, plays a much larger part. The acting abilities of the main characters are fully exhibited, and major plot points that seem completely essential to the understanding of the film's vision have been restored. This film is now engaging and heartfelt. I spent most of the time gasping and wondering how the hell Fritz Lang managed to film scenes that feature angry mobs, burning at the stake, and large-scale Ayn Rand like cities without the help of special effects. Metropolis is truly a marvelous example of ingenuity and cinematic genius.

The restoration is not only a triumph for film scholars - it's an absolute delight to any audience member. Go and see it now!

Shutter Island

Props to Scorsese's legal team, because I Google-searched for a total of three minutes before I became exhausted for a photo of Michelle Williams in Shutter Island. This was really the only one I could find, which is a damn shame, because her part in the film happens to be the most beautiful and compelling.

It's alright, I understand why there aren't any photos: this is a twist-ending movie based on the twist-ending book by Dennis Lehane, author of Mystic River. If everyone was allowed to post stills willy-nilly on Google, well then, what fun would the movie be?

The answer is, it's still fun, regardless of whether you know the twist ending (I called it on Twitter about a month ago) or not. Shutter Island is Scorsese's attempt at film noir. Unfortunately, for him and for us, he ends up closer to M. Night Shyamalan than to Hitchock.


Teddy, played by a beefy Leonardo DiCaprio, and his partner Chuck, the dreamy Mark Ruffalo, are called to Shutter Island to investigate the disappearance of patient Rachel Salando. Of course, by the time they get there, it becomes obvious that Teddy has bigger problems than finding Rachel. For one thing, he's wracked with anxiety and flashbacks to his tour in Germany during WWII, and visions of his wife, who died in a fire in their apartment.

Most of these flashback scenes are the reason to see this film - visually stunning, eerie and gorgeous, Michelle Williams (in a beautiful yellow house dress evocative of her Vera Wang at the Oscars with Heath) seems to get more and more beautiful as the years go by. It's no wonder these scenes are the ones that appear in the trailer. And DiCaprio does a pretty good job at playing tortured. That said, I will still never be able to see him as a man. Every time I look at him, I see this:

That said, after the twist, Leo's brutish performance morphs into something remarkable. The same goes for Ruffalo, who, after a simple costume change, becomes a completely different person. The other actors, who are so talented that their supporting-status in this film is practically insulting, Ben Kingsley and Max von Sydow, seem to be playing down to the nature of the film. It's jarring - but appearances by Emily Mortimer and Jackie Earle Haley round out the ensemble.

Unfortunately, the stylistic music just gets annoying as hell, and the jumpy, black-out mental institution prison hallways are a bit much. This film houses none of the suspense of Taxi Driver or even The Departed (please, I don't expect Taxi Driver every time). Sadly (and predicatably) WWII is used solely for shock-value. Overall, there's too much silliness here for the film to get visceral. It's not a complete failure, but it is a failure, I think, for Marty Scorsese. Or perhaps this just isn't his genre.

Dilettantsia's 2010 Oscar Predictions

Who's sorry now?

Let's face it: It's going to be a showdown between Avatar and The Hurt Locker. Kathryn Bigelow's already won the Director's Guild Award, which basically means if she doesn't win best director at the Oscars, hell will freeze over.

I'm afraid the Academy will pull another Crash / Brokeback Mountain on us and give Best Picture to Cameron and Best Director to Bigelow.

Full disclosure: I have not seen The Hurt Locker because I was broke as hell over the summer and I've tried to reserve it on DVD but it's impossible to get. So basically I'll be downloading it on iTunes for like ten million dollars because I support women filmmakers. It is near to impossible to get a film made as a female director (sorry, it's just the truth, it's an ugly world) and I would love to see Kathryn Bigelow win.

Also, yes, I concede that the technology in Avatar is mind-blowing or whatever, but the writing is shit and everyone knows it.

Best Picture
“Avatar”
“The Blind Side”
“District 9″
“An Education”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
“A Serious Man”
“Up”
“Up in the Air”

Best Direction
“Avatar” — James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” — Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” — Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” — Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” — Jason Reitman

Actor in a Leading Role
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Jeff Bridges is like the pretend un-sung hero of Hollywood. Which is bullshit, because everyone worships him for being "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski. That said, he hasn't really won any major accolades (although god knows he's been nominated ten thousand times) until Crazy Heart, so I think he'll get the golden statue.

Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

I don't think the academy will give another statue to Meryl. Also there's been so much hype surrounding Sandra Bullock never winning anything and her heartfelt speeches at the Critics' and The Golden Globes make her kind of a darling for the win.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon in “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Christoph Waltz was fantastic in this film and basically stole show from everyone. This is a no-brainer.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Also a no-brainer. I don't think Mo'Nique has any competition whatsoever.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
“District 9” — Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
“An Education” — Screenplay by Nick Hornby
“In the Loop” — Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” — Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Up in the Air” — Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Everyone loves this stupid movie, and I don't know why. The fact that it's been nominated for major awards makes it sort of competitive in the Best Picture category, but the Cameron/Bigelow head-to-head is just better. As amends, I think the academy will give best writing to Reitman.

Writing (Original Screenplay)
“The Hurt Locker” — Written by Mark Boal
“Inglourious Basterds” — Written by Quentin Tarantino
“The Messenger” — Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
“A Serious Man” — Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Up” — Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

Obviously. No contest.

Animated Feature Film
“Coraline”
“Fantastic Mr. Fox”
“The Princess and the Frog”
“The Secret of Kells”
“Up”

Duh! Everyone loves Pixar like it's crack-cocaine. Coraline really should win, but it won't.

Wow, this is late! Dilettantsia's Top 10 Films of 2009

Some of my favorites, in a very particular order, i.e. #1 being the best.

10. Avatar
It was entertaining. I guess I have respect for the technology.













9. UP
I basically wept through this entire movie, and couldn't even bring myself to write a g-d review.














8. Julie & Julia
So sue me, I had a year of massive "what am I doing with my life" crises.













7. Bright Star
Absolutely stunning, gorgeous film by Jane Campion with wonderful actors.










6. Silent Light
One of the most eerie, strange, lovely experiences I've ever had in the movie theater.




















5. Two Lovers
Fucking well written love story that's not stupid. Kudos!













4. The White Ribbon
I have a thing for deeply manipulative films that take place in Germany.












3. The Hurt Locker
You know what, I haven't even seen this but I know it's good.














2. Let the Right One In
One of the best vampire movies ever made, gorgeous and confident enough to play with gender stereotypes. God, I can't emphasize how excellent this film is.



















1. Inglourious Basterds
Tarentino, Nazis, and a Jewish girl taking revenge. The purest energy, the finest details.

The White Ribbon

When I saw Michael Haneke's last film, Caché, over three years ago, I was enraged and confused. I had nightmares; I couldn't sleep. After that experience, I became a Michael Haneke convert. Like one of my favorite writers, Thomas Bernhard, Haneke is Austrian. Haneke, like Bernhard, strikes me as a artist who wants to explore the genesis of evil, an evil that can and does run through every society, regardless of ethnicity or history. His auteur has to do with exposing and attempting to explain the evils of humanity itself.

He will give you all the tools to embark on this task, but don't expect him to give you all the answers. After we left the theater last night, one of my friends remarked, "is that ending supposed to be conclusive?" The answer is no, I don't think it is. Here is Haneke describing this lack of explanation in an interview with Roy Grundmann from Cineaste magazine:

"The language-bound arts already circumscribe this freedom considerably, because they are forced to name things by their name. But what is named by its name is artistically dead, has stopped breathing, and can only be recycled in discussion. Film exacerbates this further . . . . I always say, a film ought to be like a ski jump, but it is the viewer who must do the jumping. But to enable the viewer to do so, the jump has to be constructed in a certain way. One has to find a construction that lets the viewer fly--in other words, that stirs the viewer's imagination."


The White Ribbon, Haneke's latest, won the Palm D'Or for 2009 at Cannes. It's a remarkable, beautifully-made film. It takes place about a year before the break-out of WWI in a small German village. Most of the children are raised in a strictly Protestant upbringing, where innocence is king and punishment is brutal. Abuse of all kinds and nasty intentions harbor barely below the surface, behind closed doors. A series of violent events take place: the town doctor's horse is felled by a wire strung from tree to tree as he's coming home one night, a woman falls through a rotten floorboard and dies, the Baron's son is strung up and beaten, and a young retarded boy is stabbed in the eyes. The perpetrator of these crimes is unknown. The Baron asks for everyone's help in finding the criminal, as it must be someone from within. "One of us," he says.

The film is narrated by the town's schoolteacher in old age, as a voice-over, but Haneke also chooses to show us plot points the schoolteacher couldn't have known about. However, he acts as our guide, someone we can trust throughout this ordeal. His story is largely relegated to his love for Eva, the teenage nanny to the Baroness' children. Eva is from another town (actually the one where the schoolteacher grew up) and in that way they are both outsiders.

The children, however, are products of this community. They walk about town, traveling in a pack, curiously inspecting the crime scenes. They are the ultimate observers, watching and listening to their parents. However, it becomes abundantly clear to us (and to the children) that their parents do not practice what they preach. There is a growing, seething rage in this town--it bleeds out of the adults and multiplies in strength through their children. When they act out, by not being home for dinner one night, the Pastor ties a white ribbon to his eldest children, as a reminder of their sin and hopeful reminder of their innocence as children. This badge, worn in shame, is eerily reminiscent of another kind of forced symbol to come.

I think the assumption that Haneke hopes to describe these children as children who would grow up to be Nazis as adults works very well. Most critics who have seen the film have leaned towards this explanation and I think it makes perfect sense. After all, in the closing scene, four men step up to the altar with flowers in their lapels - they are the first joiners for to defend Germany in WWI. And behind them, in the choir, singing like angels, are their heirs, the men and women who would "defend" Germany in the inevitable future.

Haneke resists this explanation when questioned about it, saying that he means the film to be more about Fascism in general, not specifically German Fascism. Regardless, The White Ribbon is a fascinating study of a society on the precipice of murder and ultimately, self-destruction. The religious and conservative rules that line the foundation to this history of violence cannot be ignored, and forces us as viewers to wonder which is the true threat: the evil outside that we fear and shield our children from, or in the enforcement of these "rules" the ultimate evil - the evil that comes from within us?

RIP Brittany Murphy

Shit, you guys, I never had straight friends before.

Bright Star

Bright Star is the new film by director Jane Campion, one of only three female directors to ever have been nominated for an Academy Award. Campion, a Kiwi, is best known for her 1993 Oscar-nominated film The Piano. Both Bright Star and The Piano are required viewing. Bright Star tells the story of the ill-fated romance between John Keats and Fanny Brawne. They were engaged but never had the chance to marry, as Keats died of tuberculosis at the young age of twenty-six.

Although Australian actress Abbie Cornish, who plays Fanny Brawne, has been in the press for her personal life, and appeared in a few American films (Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Stop Loss), Bright Star is really her film, and her entree into stardom. Apparently Brawne was quite the talented seamstress and fashionista, notorious in Hampstead for her outfits and accessories. Campion does a fantastic job illuminating the similarities between Brawne's needlework and the business of writing poetry, but, brilliantly gives us the most insight into Fanny's character when in response to being made-fun of for her vestments, Fanny responds "my needlework is better than your poems - and I can make money at it!"

But it's inevitable that Fanny and Keats will fall in love - they live right next door to each other, and are drawn together through their extraordinary interests and temperaments. Bright Star has nothing of the sugary sentiment that period films like Becoming Jane and the disgusting remake of Pride & Prejudice stand on. Bright Star is all about impressions, feeling, and the transitory nature of love. Fanny and Keats can never really be together: he has no means to support her, his friends despise her for taking up his time to write when really she is the only reason he finds the inspiration to write again after the death of his younger brother.

This film will not receive the attention it deserves, so if you have the chance to see it I highly recommend you take it. There is something infinitely intimidating about the fact that Keats accomplished so much when he barely made it into adulthood. This film emphasizes the beauty of the moment and of love, which when it pronounces itself, must be embarked on wholeheartedly. One never knows when these moments will end. John and Fanny's union is perhaps finally given the acknowledgment it deserves in this film, forever reflected in Keats' poems, including the one which Campion draws her title, which Keats wrote shortly after becoming engaged to Brawne in 1819.

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

Antichrist

Again, I have to apologize to my readers for the delay in posting - the monster bug which struck me down about a month ago has returned, and I'm just doing my best to stay indoors and rest. I did however, brave the impending winter during my one week of health to see Lars von Trier's Antichrist, perhaps the most talked about and least viewed film of the year.

You've probably read by now that Antichrist received pretty much terrible reviews from nearly every film critic on God's Green Earth, and there's good cause for that. You've also probably heard about the fact that film features, in graphic detail, not one but two instances of genital mutilation. And judging from the photo I've shared above, you know that when it comes to von Trier, trix are not for kids.

Antichrist is by no means von Trier's strongest film, and I don't think he intends it to be. In interviews he's spoken about conjuring the film while he was dealing with the death of his mother. They had a contentious relationship - she was the chairwoman of the Danish women's movement, an ardent Feminist, and led a fairly unconventional life. But obviously, as her child, von Trier's got some skeletons in his closet. These are released in Antichrist.

Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem DaFoe play the parents of a child, who, as they are having sex and not paying attention, falls out an open window to his death. Consumed by grief and guilt, DaFoe (who, of course, is a psychotherapist) comes up with the idea that Gainsbourg must confront her greatest fear in order to move past her grief. (I call these characters by the actors' names because von Trier has given them no names besides "he" and "she"). He asks her where she is most scared. She answers, "the woods."

So they decamp to the woods where she spent her last summer with the baby as she worked on her thesis, which (as von Trier tells us from the books left around the cabin) appears to be about genocide. DaFoe forces Gainsbourg into exercises to deal with her fear and grief - and practically all of them backfire. There's one day where she feels better, but all progress is forgotten when DaFoe shares their son's autopsy report with her.

I don't want to go much father in terms of plot summary, but I want to emphasize that this film is not nearly as horrible as the critics have labeled it. Compared to von Trier's other films, it's certainly not at the top of his list, but Antichrist raises relevant questions about the difference in the sexes, and the critical, controversial struggle between emotion and reason. DaFoe approaches Gainsbourg time and time again as if she were a child, someone beneath him. While her reaction is overblown (understatement!) von Trier wants to warn us on just how dangerous women can be. Feminist or Misogynist? I'm tempted to lean towards the former.

Where the Wild Things Aren't

So I lied about writing that review on Tuesday. Sorry, here it is!

Spike Jonze is a very talented director; everyone knows this. His past films, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation are excellent. The success of these films is also largely due to the creative genius that is Charlie Kaufman, their writer. Jonze is also the creator of endless music videos, including the Beastie Boys "Sabotage," and Weezer's "Buddy Holly." I'll be first to admit his body of work, at age 40, is very impressive.

When hipsters all over the world (but mainly right here in Brooklyn) heard Jonze was going to tackle the cult children's classic Where the Wild Things Are, American Apparel panties were in a twist. We all waited with bated breath for at least two years for the film to finally come to fruition. That's okay; it takes a long time to make a movie, and Jonze had trouble finding a studio to finance the project. I don't blame producers for hesitating: Jonze wants to adapt a book with less than ten lines of text into a feature length film. How? And, why?

In this iteration, Max, our protagonist, is having a rough time. He's about 10 or 11, and his parents are divorced. His sister is an asshole and his mom is dating. That's some upsetting stuff. And in the first ten minutes of the film Jonze does an incredible job of illustrating just how isolated and angry this little guy is. The young actor who portrays Max is also named Max in real life, and bears an uncanny resemblance to Ellen Page. This is not pertinent to my review, but whatever, I think it's so strange.

















RIGHT?!

After an argument with his Mom (always superb Catherine Keener), Max runs off, gets in a boat, and finds himself in the land of the Wild Things. There are five of them, all different animals / monster types, with very human personalities. This works well, mainly because these Jim Henson created puppets are voiced by some of the finest working actors today: James Gandolfini, Catherine O'Hara, Lauren Ambrose, Forest Whitaker, Chris Cooper, and Paul Dano. Their voices are undoubtedly the best part of the film, and the main reason to see it - next to the puppetry and digital work which is gorgeous.

The Wild Things name Max as their king under the condition that he "keep the sadness out," which, of course is an impossible task that he fails at, for the most part. The monsters seem to function as extreme manifestations of Max's own personality, but really they could be anyone: they're neurotic, funny, and sad. They're also a family. To put it simply, this film is an exercise in how fragile people are, especially in intimate relationships. James Gandolfini, as Carol, the leader of the group, and Lauren Ambrose, as his ex-girlfriend-ish, do the best job of voicing the despair over a frustrating relationship.

All of this isn't really new or unique or interesting in any meaningful way. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the artistry that went into this film. Several people said "Spike Jonze has really shown us what it is to be child." I resist this. That would be some kind of achievement. I don't think Wild Things delves deep enough into Max's life to give us that kind of a statement. For this reason, and the overall lack of purpose, I was disappointed.

Jonze is venturing into interesting territory with this kind of Monet-ish movie-making that reminds me of his ex-wife's work. Sofia Coppola is constantly criticized for making these kind of visual-centric films. Marie Antoinette, in particular, took it pretty hard from critics. Movies, after all, are supposed to be amount the image. Otherwise we'd read books or listen to the radio to entertain ourselves (some of us still do this). But it's my hope that filmmakers will use their medium, which incorporates writing, visual, sound, and dialogue into the package. That's what makes a great film. Where the Wild Things Are isn't it.

Jerry Maguire, 1996

As you may or may not know, my life has been in full-on red alert crisis mode since June 19th, 2009, when I lost my job. Because of these mitigating circumstances, it is not at all difficult for me to relate to Jerry Maguire.

I never thought I would say that I relate to Tom Cruise, but he's actually perfect for this part and he does a decent job. Jerry is a sports agent who, in a fit of moral and philosophical guilt one night, writes a memo about how the sports agencies could be more fair to their clients and focus more on their value as human beings rather than walking dollar signs. At first, everyone in his office seems to love the memo. But within a week, Jerry finds himself with a big fat pink slip. As he leaves the office he asks, "Who's coming with me?" And, to his surprise, Dorothy, played by Renee Zellweger, responds in the affirmative.

She leaves with Jerry because she's in love with him, but she's also bored and she "wants to believe in something." She admits to being moved by his memo, and the two enter into business together with Jerry's one remaining client, a footballer named Rod Tidwell, played by Cuba Gooding Jr. You may remember his acceptance speech when he won the Oscar for best supporting actor for this role.

Essentially the film is the story of Jerry attempting to "make it," in his new world with no clients, no support, and no money. Of course he and Dorothy are bound to fall in love, or at least try to fall in love, and her status as a single-parent makes us love her. It doesn't hurt that her kid, Ray, is maybe the cutest thing ever.

The highlights of this film are its humor, the writing and direction of Cameron Crowe, and the incredible supporting performances of Cuba, Renee, Regina King (who plays Rod's wife) and Kelly Preston (who plays Jerry's ex-fiance). While it's disconcerting that Dorothy gives up a steady job with health insurance to work with some dude she doesn't really know but thinks is cute, the love story between the two of them ultimately ends up being believable. And so in the end the movie becomes a story about how the crises in our lives eventually help us to discover who we want by our side and what we can do to keep them there.

Sherman's March, 1986

A friend of mine recommended this film to me about a year ago, and I only got around to watching it last week. It's streaming on Netflix right now! Sherman's March is not really a movie about General Sherman's March to the Sea. So if you're looking for a Civil War movie this isn't it. It's much more.

In 1986, burgeoning filmmaker Ross McElwee set out to make a documentary in which he would follow Sherman's path from his notorious march through the South. But before Ross can set out to the South, his girlfriend (who he had been living with in New York) dumps him. Distraught, Ross travels down to Charlotte, NC, his hometown, camera in tow.

His Mom immediately introduces him to Pat, the daughter of some family friends, and he spends practically all of his time talking to her and filming her. Pat wants to be an actress, and she's very fit (there she is above, doing one of her crazy cellulite exercises). She's a little loony, but after a while she starts to grow on Ross, and on us. It becomes obvious that Ross doesn't seem to concerned about sticking to Sherman's story. Instead, he's creating his own.



After Pat has to leave for an audition, Ross meets Claudia, a friend of his sister's. Claudia is a single mom. She's also pretty religious.



Ross decides, after meeting Claudia that he had better get back to his project, so he heads way down to the Georgia islands, where he meets several more lovely ladies and checks in on two of his ex-girlfriends, one of which he appears to still be in love with.

I can't even begin to explain this film. No one makes documentaries like this anymore, and if they do, they end up being plainly unsuccessful. Ross McElwee has made a film about people. About women, to be specific, and they are all trapped in this time capsule of a movie that is one of the most charming, beautiful films I've ever seen. There's something about hearing the soft, endearing tilt of the Southern accent that made me proud to be a Southerner. I think McElwee has really captured Southern womanhood and Southern culture perhaps better than any other director. And he's done it all seemingly by accident. This movie made me think about life, about friends, home, family, lovers: my past. I really cannot recommend Sherman's March enough.

Jennifer's Body

You may remember Diablo Cody as the screenwriter of Juno, 2007's smash indie hit starring Ellen Page as a young, whip smart high school student who just happens to get knocked up. I, however, have still not seen Juno. I realize this is problematic and I promise to rectify this situation as soon as possible.

Fortunately this is a review of Diablo Cody's newest offering, Jennifer's Body. The New York Times, in an interesting but belated article called "Girls Gone Gory," describes the surge in horror films geared towards young women. These films are simultaneously scary and empowering, featuring women who find power by overcoming or becoming evil.

Too bad Heathers hit the nail on the coffin way back in 1988. A Mean Girls cum Friday the 13th murderous high school romp starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater, is really the jumping off point for films like Jawbreaker (1999), Jennifer's Body, and countless others.

So, now that the shout out to Heathers is done, on to the film at hand. Jennifer, played by the unbelievably smokin' Megan Fox, is that girl, the one every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with. Inexplicably, Megan has chosen "Needy," (Amanda Seyfried) as her BFF, even though, true to her name, Needy is a bit clingy and nerdy.

But Jennifer needs a wing-man, and Needy's perfect for the job. That way, Jennifer doesn't have to worry about competition when it comes to seducing "salty" dudes. Unfortunately for Needy (and for Jennifer) the cheesy ass emo boy band they go to see ends up burning down the bar and abducting Jennifer, driving off in their van. Jennifer shows up later at Needy's doorstep looking like this:

Ouch.

Jennifer's become some sort of monster, who feels weak and strange unless she's full. And full means she's got a belly full of teenage boy.

So there's the "scary" stuff.

The real scary stuff, however, is the relationship between Jennifer and Needy. Jennifer's never really been a good friend to Needy, and since becoming un-human she's even less sympathetic. The shit really hits the fan when Jennifer goes after Needy's adorable boyfriend, Chip. Then the movie becomes an all and all cat-fight between the living and the undead.

Now, I know all of this is entertaining and results in a fair amount of comedy gold. But what I'd like to ask Diablo Cody is: why is Jennifer punished for her bad behavior? She's technically a victim, after all. And why the hell can't we see a movie where Needy might prevail? Or, even better, a movie where Jennifer and Needy rule the world? Or at least their high school?

The title of this movie says it all. Horror movies, even those written by women, still have a way to go when it comes to girl power. The ultimate girl power, to me, would be watching two lady friends triumph over evil by working together. And yeah, women fight, but it would be cool for once if it we weren't using the same subversive, sexist violence to fight each other.

Lick it up baby, lick it up.

Mrs. Doubtfire, 1993

When my brother and I were young, Mrs. Doubtfire was one of our favorite movies. It remains the sort of film that just has that homey feeling to it. I'm always pleased that whenever I mention the movie people in my age group or a bit younger will readily smile and recount their favorite quotation.

The success of this film is largely due to Robin Williams' absolute manic comedic genius. It should come as no surprise that most of the incredible jokes were improvised. And he has a fantastic supporting cast that includes Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, and Harvey Fierstein. Who can forget the musical makeover montage when Williams does Barbra Streisand?

This film is a product of the glorious decade that was the 1990s. Our parents had jobs, maybe they had even managed to set aside a nice trust for our college or our first car. Mostly, they were still married, aside from a few kids we knew who split time between their Mom's house and their Dad's depressing apartment. The future seemed bright, and there was just a hint of the inevitable tarnish to come. Mrs. Doubtfire is remembered as a comedy. But what it should be remembered for, aside from the multitudes of comedic moments, is a sensitive comment on marriage, divorce, and parenting.

Daniel Hillard is a down-home actor Dad who barely makes money doing voice-overs. When he throws a birthday party for his flunking kid, and his uber-successful interior designer wife comes home to find a petting zoo in her house and a goat who ate her begonias, well. That's the last straw. She gets a divorce and because Daniel doesn't have a steady job or an apartment, she also gets full custody. In frustration Daniel comes up with the scheme that he'll apply to be his wife's new housekeeper with the help of his makeup-artist brother. Ultimately, he just wants to see his kids.

Hilarity ensues, involving a "run-by-fruiting," a death by drink ("oh, how awful, your husband was an alcoholic?" "oh no dear, he was hit by a Guinness truck"), a decline to swim ("oh no dear, i think they've outlawed whaling"), and an incredible twenty-minute sequence where Williams constantly shifts between Mrs. Doubtfire and Daniel in one evening at Bridges restaurant.

But the truly intriguing moments of this film are the most personal ones, of course. In a discussion with his ex-wife, Miranda, Daniel learns (undercover as Mrs. Doubtfire) the reason why his wife decided to divorce him. "I didn't like who I was when I was with him," she says. He was always the fun one, and she the bad guy. In the beginning he was great, but the lack of seriousness over time just wore her down. "Did you ever tell him any of this, dear?" But of course she hasn't. There is some incredible, overlooked acting in this scene. For Daniel, it's akin to being at your own funeral and eavesdropping the conversations. It's a heartbreaking moment.

This is tragicomedy at its greatest. There are moments when you have to laugh out loud at the ridiculous situation, but at the same time you want to weep because, yes, divorce is difficult. It's more than difficult. And like any great romantic comedy, Daniel and Miranda really come out on top in this game. It's the perfect ending on a perfect San Francisco street. And maybe that's why I return to this movie over and over again, in hopes that it will give away its secrets, and alert me to a better route to forgiveness.

My Favorite Film of 2009

Quentin Tarantino’s latest, Inglourious Basterds, will disappoint if you’re looking for the sequel to Pulp Fiction. You’ll get your fix of violence—but the strengths of this film are rooted in its masterful dialogue and storytelling, making it one of, if not the greatest revenge fantasies ever told.

Bill, of Tarantino’s last film Kill Bill, is a pretty nasty foe. He asks Beatrix, “Do you find me sadistic?” before he blows her brains out and steals her baby. We root for her as she slashes through person after person to get to Bill. In the end of Volume 2, when she lies weeping from joy on the hotel bathroom floor, we laugh and cry with her. But Tarantino’s taken it one step further in his genre of villain. This time, it’s the Nazis. And instead of going through a middleman, namely, the Allies, to ensure that the scum get their comeuppance, Tarantino has handed the sword (or, in this case, the baseball bat) directly to the Jews. What ensues is the most exciting movie I’ve seen in years.

The opening scene of this film is the perfect example of suspense—it’s agony to watch, but you’re totally incapable of not watching. Hans Landa, colonel of the SS, arrives on a French farm to tell the owner that his house needs to be searched, again, for Jews. Landa’s manipulation of the English language is so deft that it wears the farmer down, word by word, until he eventually must give up the ghost. It’s a terrifying sequence, and only proves that Tarantino’s talent not only lies in his ability to mix violence and humor, but his dialogue, which has the uncanny ability to seem completely realistic, and alien at same time.

Unforgettable performances from Christoph Waltz, who will undoubtedly be nominated for an Oscar, Brad Pitt, Mélanie Laurent, Michael Fassbender, and practically the entire cast, coupled with an insane attention to detail in costume and art direction has made WWII into a Western, complete with trading card heroes and heroines. But in respect to its nasty history, the ending of this film can only be described as pure, unadulterated catharsis. Bravo Tarantino. Bravo.

Re-blog: How Sloane Peterson from Ferris Bueller's Day Off Taught Me How to be a Good Girlfriend

Hi all. I just had to share this amazing blog entry from "No, they don't let me lick the bowl," in which blogger Laura explains how Sloane from Ferris Bueller can teach us to be better girlfriends. I think it's pretty spot-on, and most of my guy friends (including my man) have agreed. What do you think?

THE GUIDE TO BEING SO CHOICE aka How Sloane Peterson from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Taught me how to be an Awesome Girlfriend.

• Get along with his friends if you don’t get along with his friends you are done. seriously. That is number 1. Even if you think his friends are uptight weirdos or hypochondriac freaks, HEY, he is friends with them for a reason, so cut the shit. You’ve probably got some weird and crappy friends too…

• Rein him in, but only when necessary you are his girlfriend, not his mother. If he wants to sing to the city on a giant float, let him do it. He’s a big man and he can deal with the consequences. You can nicely remind him, Look, if you do that there might be trouble, but if you throw a bitch fit and give him the silent treatmeant you will look fucking retarded when he has a new girlfriend on his arm from the impressive stunts he’s pulled.

• Be funny “He’s licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.” simple as that.

• Be confident Look, one of the reasons Ferris loved her was because she was cool and classy lady, she didn’t stress. She uttered the words and believed “He’s gonna marry me.” She probably knows if her boyfriend was running through a backyard and saw 2 girls tanning he probably would stop and say hello, but she also knows that he would spend hours of stress and risk his neck to get her out of school to just see her. Relax. You have him. He’s not going anywhere, and if he talks to other girls who the fuck cares YOU are the one he wants to marry.

• Say Eloquent Shit did Sloane ever use the word “like” as much as you do in your daily conversation? No. Drop the habit that makes you seem like a dumb valley girl and trade it for stellar vocab terms like “warmth & compassion” and “devastatingly handsome.” Once you’ve mastered talking like an adult, you’ll be able to spew pearls of poetry like “The city looks so peaceful from up here…”

• Pack lightly ever notice how tiny Sloane’s purse was? The bigger the purse, the lamer the girl. Its called baggage for a reason.

• Be able to keep up with the boys Hey, if you’ve got cramps, take a fucking midol and strap in. You don’t ever wanna be the girlfriend who is a drag and never wants to go out. A girl who can say she cruised with the top down in a convertible, swung by the Stock Exchange, and took in a Cubs game all in one day, is sorta girl who you wanna keep around.

• Look badass in a jacket with fringe The End.

28 Weeks Later, 2007

1. There's no such thing as rehabilitation after a viral zombie attack.
2. If the government says, "don't go here," you probably should listen.
3. Don't waste your time watching this movie.
4. Watch 28 Days Later instead.
5. Thanks.

I swear to goodness, if I have to watch one more horror movie with the an eye-gouge killing scene, I'll just laugh. It's not impressive anymore. Remember when Cillian Murphy gouged that guy's eyes out in the first 28 Days Later and it was awesome because no one had ever really done that before in a movie? Well, it's been done. And if I have to see it again I'm just going to throw in the towel.

It pains me to write that, because I really love horror movies. I love slasher flicks, suspense films, zombie movies, vampire stuff, the whole thing. But I didn't love this movie. I'll tell you why.

Nobody can catch a break in this movie. It turns out, while London has been secured, the rest of the UK still has zombies breaking into people's barns. Ron and Alice are a couple who somehow were able to ship their children out of England but couldn't get out themselves. When zombies break into the safe house where they're sitting with an elderly couple, a young man, and a single young woman, Ron promptly abandons his wife and runs for it. When his children are shipped back to him (London has been declared safe), he tells them he watched their mother die.

There's nothing subtle about this film. After being attacked by the infected, shot at by the United States Government, attacked again by their own father (who is now one of the infected), lost all the people who have tried to protect them, and rolling down an escalator filled with dead, decaying bodies, the two children who star in this film actually walk towards the light at the end of the subway tunnel.

Essentially the only interesting subtext in this movie is the total and complete breakdown of the nuclear family.

• Dad leaves Mom to be eaten by zombies
• Mom isn't really dead, turns out she's immune
• But she's still a carrier, so she gives virus to Dad
• Dad kills Mom (eye gouge)
  
• Dad tries to kill kids
• Kids have to kill Dad
• Can someone give Sophocles a credit line on the DVD?
  

I could summarize the rest of this thing, but really there's no point. It's fairly grotesque and traumatic. I'm saddened that these two hours could've been spent watching a Von Trier film instead. If the zombies don't bite you, the government snipers will just kill you. They'll kill everything. Is that the point?

28 Days Later is worlds away by far a superior film. If you haven't seen it, you really should. The best zombie movies (even the oldest, lowest budgets ones) are nuanced in their message. The virus is a metaphor. There is only overbearing imagery here. So we're all gonna die? I appreciate the gesture Mr. Fresnadillo, but DUH.

Moonstruck, 1987

In 1987, I was two years old. But I distinctly remember a cassette tape bearing the image of Cher dancing in front of the Moon being played over and over again in the early years of my life. My mom would say, "Oh, put on Moonstruck!" if she was making Italian food. And on the eight hour long car drive down to visit my Grandfather in Florida, both my Father and Mother would sing along to Dean Martin: When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore!

I've finally just watched the movie for the first time.

First off, John Patrick Shanley wrote this thing? Really? The same guy who's responsible for this clunker? Unbelievable. Moonstruck is a Cinderella story, brimming with life. Loretta's a nice Italian girl, whose husband was struck down by a speeding bus seven years ago. Since she's decided that means she has "bad luck," she settles down into keeping the books at a funeral home, living with her parents, and dating this lame guy named Johnny Cammareri. He's sweet, but she doesn't love him. Johnny proposes marriage, and she accepts. Before he leaves to go see his ailing Mother in Palermo, he asks Loretta to do one thing: invite his younger brother to the wedding, who he hasn't seen in five years due to some "bad blood." She agrees.

It turns out, of course, that Ronny, Johnny's brother, is a "wolf," of a man. (See left). The grudge that he's been carrying against Johnny comes from when he was slicing some bread for Johnny in the slicer, and Johnny distracted him. Ronny lost his hand, and as a result, his girl left him for another man. After grilling him up a steak, Loretta concludes that Ronny's really mad at himself, not his brother. She asks if there's been another woman since the one that left. He asks if there's been another man since her husband died. It's inevitable that there's an explosive connection between the two of them.

It's no surprise that the salon Loretta visits the night before she meets Johnny at the Opera is called the Cinderella salon. And, never having been to the Opera "where's the Met?" Loretta asks, the music of La Bohème is really what seals the deal. (The music from this Opera tends to seal almost everybody's deal). Moonstruck's world is a pseudo New York, where people cheat, but families don't fall apart, people actually enjoy Opera, there's always the same little Italian cafe you can frequent on your block, and men you've just met days prior take you to the Opera and then propose marriage in front of your entire family. It's a romantic comedy.


But with lovely performances by the panther herself, Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Danny Aiello, and John Mahoney, to mention a few, the film raises itself up over other romantic comedies and becomes one of the most enjoyable movies ever made. It's easy to see why, years after it had premiered in the theaters, my parents wanted to relive the soundtrack in their own lives. Maybe that's why, after all those years of hearing La Bohème, I packed my bags and went off to school to become an Opera singer.