Enchanté!

Hello everybody, my pseudonym is Bora and this is my blog.

Welcome everybody!

So everybody has story as to how they started blogging, that I will deliver at the end of this post. Before explaining why I started blogging, I want to cut to the chase and speak about the main theme of this blog.

For about four years or so, I've been deeply interested in the art of happiness and personal development. I have done considerable research on the 'science' of happiness (the branch is officially called positive psychology) and I want to share my findings, and what I think of their implications on our lives. To that end, I want to dedicate my blog to 'intrinsic fulfillment.' I think that the concept of intrinsic fulfillment is pretty self explanatory - but just to clarify: it is being happy with whatever situation you are in, regardless of external circumstances.

Note: "If you want to be happy, be" - Leo Tolstoy.

True Tolstoy Charisma. 

I've always been interested in the art of living, and creating a life that is fulfilling and rewarding. This started out as a purely personal interest but now I feel like personally applying all the lessons I learn into my own life is not rewarding enough. By sharing my findings and opinions I hope to be able to improve people's lives while using writing as a tool for consolidating and further analyzing what I actually think.

And that I feel is sufficient in terms of pretty generic introduction to my purpose in starting this blog, and what I hope it will pertain to.

But now on to my story:

Yesterday, January 2nd of 2010 was one of the most depressing days of my entire life. I'm sure I've had worse days, and that in the general scheme of things it wasn't a bad day really, but hey - the brain is a pretty talented tool, and my brain especially is excellent at blocking out painful memories, but I digress.

I want to make this more interesting, and comical to put it into perspective for me, so here we go:

It is a cloudy day. Bora wakes up at exactly 12:43PM. Bora lazily gets out of bed. Bora thinks it'll be a good idea to take an unsustainably long shower (upwards of 45 minutes) while listening to radio channels that typically have Katy Perry and Lady Gaga songs. Yes Bora is effeminate. Bora takes his shower.

Bore thinks this is a very pretty shower. 

Next, Bora decides to walk around his apartment (pshh more like his parents') and think's it'll be nice to flip through some home decorating magazines). This turned out to be an awful idea.

Bora has always wanted to be an architect, and was really interested in interior design. Bora however, could not take the risk (and it never occured to him really) to apply to such a specific field. Therefore, Bora decided that a liberal arts education would be best suited for him. But after a semester of college, Bora starts to doubt where his life his headed. Furthermore, a couple of days ago, Bora read an interview about an extremely famous Turkish architect turned decorator - Eren Yorulmazer - and thought of how much his life, in idea, appealed to him. One of the pertinent quotes that stuck in Bora's mind was that Eren Yorulmazer said, "Part of my job is knowing which company makes the best fabrics, and candles from which part of the world smell best."

A picture of the famous Turkish architect turned decorator - Eren Yorulmazer. 

Now that may sound mundane for a lot of you, but for Bora, that idea appealed to him so much - because Bora likes beautiful things. Bora basks in the glory of beautiful things. In nice hotel lobbies, Bora becomes happy. Bora enjoys looking at pictures of beautiful houses - not to live vicariously through the pages - but for the mere aesthetic satisfaction that it rises within him.

So now that you have some context about Bora's life and internal state of mind - Bora delved into some dangerous thoughts. Bora thought about what it would be like an interior designer. Bora imagined himself being successful. Bora imagined himself doing a job which he loved and appreciated. Bora felt as though this job would provide him the space in which he could be himself (as most industries are not friendly towards men who are somewhat effeminate).

And then it started... Bora's mental breakdown.

Bora starts freaking out. Bora doesn't know what he's doing. Bora remembers how his uncle (a successful businessman) told him how he should study business in college - that way he would learn how to create and start off firms from scratch - be it a bakery or a mall or a factory.

Bora goes to a university where Business is not offered. Bora is not happy about this. Bora cannot get a BA in Business Administration. Bora also remembers interior design is not offered, neither is professional architecture.

Bora says to himself: "WHY THE FUCK DID I COME TO A FUCKING SCHOOL THAT DOES NOT OFFER ANY FUCKING THING THAT I WANTED TO STUDY? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE IDEALISTIC ABOUT THE TYPE OF STUDENT BODY AND ENVIRONMENT AND NOT PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO THE COURSES THAT WERE ACTUALLY OFFERED AT THOSE SCHOOLS? WHY? WHY DID I KNOWINGLY GO TO A SCHOOL THAT DID NOT OFFER ANY OF THESE DISCIPLINES EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO STUDY THEM. WHY AM I SUCK A FREAKING LUNATIC IDIOT. WHY DO I MAKE SO MANY FUCKING MISTAKES. WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING. GREAT. NOW I CAN GET A BA IN PSYCHOLOGY AND BASICALLY NOT DO ANYTHING WITH IT. UHHH!!!"

I didn't quite look like this - but you get the gist. 

Then Bora thinks of all the people (you may be one of them) saying, "oh don't worry, psychology applies to many fields!" - Bora personally disagrees with that, but for the sake of practicality reminds people that in certain schools people are able to double major in psychology and business.

Basically, Bora realizes that whether it is studying business, or being an architect, or being an interior design, is not a path he can pursue at his university. Bora understands that the only thing he can do that has genuine interest for him is psychology - and Bora feels as though psychology professionally will not be lucrative enough for him to be happy - Bora likes beautiful things, Bora likes nice hotels and houses - and Bora feels as though psychologists do not have so many things like that. Bora is a tad materialistic.

A taste for the finer things in life. 

So Bora gets sad - like this :(

Bora then tries to calm himself down, but he fails. And Bora talks to a friend - and is speaking of transferring - Bora likes to escape many things - and his friend suggests that maybe Bora changes not his external environment, but his internal environment.

Bora thinks that maybe by changing his internal environment, his exact same life could look so much more rewarding and promising.

And that is now Project Intrinsic Fulfillment Started.